why can’t I just rest
take a breath before falling
dreamless into sleep
I am so exhausted but for some reason I can’t just rest a little. Maybe I’ll end up going to sleep early tonight. Until then I suppose I should tell my tale of Sunday.
My Sunday afternoon/evening/night/early morning was one of physical labor, frustration, and exhaustion. It was basically twelve hours of bullshit. But one must endure and so I did. It’s a small thing, really, in the scheme of things, a way of reminding me what is good in life and what is unworthy.
I have so many things I can say but I feel my lack of sleep bearing down on me so I’ll try to keep it to the highlights.
In my head, it’s over but I know the husband is right and that it’s not really over. We’re going to have to deal with this kind of crap for awhile. I don’t know why but it’s just so.
While we were in Livermore toiling away, the MIL’s phone rang when she wasn’t there and I picked it up and saw the caller. Yeah, the SAB. I wanted to answer it and tell her to f**k off (yes, those words) but instead I just put the phone down in disgust and said, “F**k you.” Yes, those words.
In some ways it was an adventuresome Sunday. It was kinda neat riding in a truck. And it felt good to do some physical labor. But for the most part it was such utter bullshit. We don’t even move ourselves anymore like that and yet because of her lack of preparation and planning, we do so for the MIL? WTF?!
Amidst the frustration and urge to scream profanities, I did feel some melancholy about the Livermore house. We had good times there. It still felt familiar even in its emptiness. I will miss that place. I personally think she should have stayed there and done everything at a less hectic pace. If she wasn’t going to dump everything then why this sudden need to play memory lane when the clock was ticking?
Yeah, fangirl me is pretty stoked.