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Okay, how funny is it that this is week forty-nine and we saw Tyler Rich Thursday night while I was wearing my 49er jacket? Also, we’re all San Francisco 49er fans. Coincidence? Sure. But interesting enough to note? Heck yes.

Tyler Rich on stage in Stockton

Thursday night’s venue was the Bob Hope Theater in Stockton. Dustin Lynch was the headliner with Ryan Hurd and Tyler as the openers. This is the closest to home that Tyler has performed so it was pretty exciting for me. No long drive or staying overnight just to see him. The drive was under an hour each way, which was great for the hubby.

We arrived early enough to walk down a couple of blocks to Taps Bar and Grill. We had a beer and dinner (BLT for me) then we walked back to the Bob Hope Theater, stood in line for a little bit while they checked us at the door. We’ve been to the Bob Hope Theater before (for Kevin James) and it’s a nice place. The seats are a little tight but for the most part comfortable. The acoustics were great as each act sounded amazing!

TYLER RICH – Tyler and the band were freakin’ awesome on stage! Tyler is really owning the stage now and he sounded so good. The band was great as well, of course! It sort of bums me out that I knew like two songs (and one was a cover!) but I loved all the songs he did, of course. Tyler, when are you going to release some new music?! (I always forget to ask these questions when he’s right in front of me. Maybe I’m just distracted? Who knows.) I really did love how his voice sounded (though I always do, to be honest). We weren’t very close to the stage, which gave us a view of the whole stage, which was nice. But am I spoiled when I say it’s a slight bummer that when he can’t see us from the stage? Yeah, that sounds sooo spoiled.

RYAN HURD – I know I’ve heard at least one Ryan Hurd sung song before last night but the only song I really knew was “You Look Good,” the Lady Antebellum song that he wrote. I was very much digging Ryan’s vibe on stage. He has very nice moves and a strong voice and great songwriting skills. He was a total treat to watch and I was so impressed that I bought his EP this morning. You should too. His songs have a sexy groove to them and watching him sing them just makes it all better.

DUSTIN LYNCH – We’ve seen Dustin before (when he opened for Luke Bryan last year) and as a performer he pretty much wants to party. I was on my feet and dancing (or what passes for dancing with me) for a lot of his set. I enjoyed his performance, though the music sounded great, and it made me appreciate the songs from his new album a bit more. He’s cute to boot too.

All in all, a great show!

During Ryan’s set, I saw Tyler’s friends walk up the other side of the theater and I thought, “Oh, those lucky guys,” because I knew they were probably hanging out backstage or in the green room with Tyler. Later, I looked over and they were standing on the other side and there was a third with them. When the hubby told me it was Tyler, I got up and walked out just to walk back in where Tyler and his friends were. I got to say hello, got a hug, said hi to his friends. I probably should have taken Tyler out to the lobby for a picture at that point since we had to wait later for him to come out after Dustin was finished. Tyler asked after the hubby (awww!) and I told him we’d see him later. After the show, we waited around because I wanted a picture with Tyler (of course!). It took awhile but he finally came out and I got another hug, a few words (he liked my Niner jacket), then a couple of pictures with him. And then we were off!

As always, it’s was great to see Tyler and have a moment with him. I’ve come to expect it and I will cherish every time it happens because one day, it just might not happen. And I hope I’ll be all right with that. I think I will be…

with Tyler in Stockton

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.



National Novel Writing Month is over!

Falling Into Place is the longest novel I’ve ever written (not including the still unfinished three-parter story I started a couple of years ago) and therefore the longest novel ever for National Novel Writing Month. It’s a first person point of view romance, alternating between the two characters. I hit the 50,000 word mark on November 21st then 60,000 words on the November 25th. (Whoa, did I write 10,000 words in four days? YOWSA!) I didn’t hit 70,000 words until November 30th at about 2230 hrs or so. I don’t know if anyone will read it but I have already started the editing process. I want to fix the grammatical errors and awkward phrasing but I’m finding myself already marking chunks I want to change or delete. Story-wise, I think I want to keep most of the plot points intact.

I had a lot of fun writing this particular story. Maybe it was because I was using a new muse for the main male character (thank you for the inspiration Simon Kassianides!). Maybe it was the challenge of writing in the first person. Maybe it was just all the plotting and outlining I did before November that just made me eager to finally get down to write this story. Maybe I just loved my characters so much. And I do love my characters. Hopefully my editing will make for a decent finished product.

me in my new Niner jacket
me in my new Niner jacket


  • New San Francisco 49er jacket! – I love my new puffer jacket. Got it for sale and I’ve pretty much worn it every day since I got it. It’s warm and cute. I don’t think I’ve ever had a Niner jacket (I have plenty of A’s jackets and the one All Blacks jacket) so here I am, finally declaring my football love.
  • Christmas Tree Lighting – We had our Christmas tree lighting on Friday night at City Park. I LOVE how we can walk downtown for city events. The tree lighting was nice. The performances were lovely, especially Iliana Viramontes (who’s apparently appeared on The Voice).
  • I had a dream just last night that I met and hung out with Prince Harry. He asked me to look for his fiancé. So I went off and looked for Meghan Markle and found her with her family. I was allowed to go to her and we chatted and she was sweet but had really small hands. When I woke up from the dream, I realized I could have asked her about working with Simon on Suits. What the balls!
  • Blindspot – Still loving this show! I do wonder if I would be watching it so religiously if Sullivan Stapleton wasn’t starring in it. Hmmm…
  • We see Tyler Rich this Thursday!!! I’m excited! It feels like FOREVER since we’ve seen him. Not seeing him at the G Bar is a good thing to be sure but it makes me feel a little sad that we don’t get to see him as often. I can’t wait until he releases some new music! I want new music!!!
  • Got a letter from futureme.org and it centered on my three months old regard for Simon Kassianides. I love doing the futureme.org letters. It’s weird to get a letter from myself that I wrote months or even a year ago. It’s like a time capsule.

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


Sully on Thanksgiving Day
Sully on Thanksgiving Day

It was an awesome week off from work! I hit the 50,000 words on my story and am currently at about 63,000 words (and counting). We saw Justice League (thank you for the shirtless Jason Momoa and Henry Cavill!). We had dinner at home for Thanksgiving. I bought too many things online throughout the week because it’s too easy to spend money when browsing on the internet…

I’d say more but I want to write more of my novel. So there you go…

Oh, and I don’t really want to go back to work tomorrow but such is life…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


day 29 word count

I’m off for Thanksgiving week and I am utterly thankful for it! Last week’s highlights include:

  • Working on my National Novel Writing Month novel. I’ve slowed down in parts and I think I didn’t even hit the usual average one day but as of yesterday I was still quite above pace. My story is probably very likely going to be more than the 50,000 words and I’m shooting for 60,000. I think I have that much story left. It’s very interesting and fun writing characters who are played by people I know (and yes, obviously don’t know). I like to think that unless you know me, you can picture your own people playing the characters. I don’t know if I’ll let anyone read this particular story. We shall see…
  • FINALLY got my standing desk at work! Is it wrong to be excited about my work space? No, I didn’t think so. Anyhoo, the desk arrived on Thursday so I only got to “play” with it for one whole work day. I need to get the power strip mounted to underside of my desk then I’ll be set with bringing my desk up and down when I work. Oh, and I do want a wireless keyboard and mouse. Next on the list!
  • It’s great having the hubby work downtown! We both don’t need to drive to work, if we wanted. We can walk, if we wanted. Right now, we drive. I drop him off and mosey my way to my work. After work, we meet somewhere and then head home. It is FANTASTIC working five minutes or so from work.
  • We checked out the Holiday Parade downtown on Sunday evening. It was fun! It was long! And my cousin and his wife were in the parade! It was so weird seeing them. And nice too, of course! I broke the spectator line to say hello to them. I seriously love the little hometown feel of Brentwood.
  • I feel like the USPS has lost my latest buys at 1888design.com. I will be SO SAD if that is the case because I was really looking forward to having those pieces. 🙁  According to the USPS, my items have been on their way to Brentwood for the past five days. Grrr…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


My Listworthy 9
My Listworthy Nine = Jensen, Greg, Ed, Taylor, Philip, Sully, Sam, Tyler, Simon

A little love letter to my Listworthy fellas… (And my 50,000th tweet!)

Truly, my Listworthy posts are my love letters to you. But you knew that, right? And maybe it’s been years since I’ve written yours or perhaps just a few of months ago but they were done with all affection and adoration. It is my way of showing my regard as well as sharing the love and giving my little world the reasons for adoring you.

Sometimes I wonder how you took the post. Did it startle you? Did it freak you out? Did you think, “What the balls with this lady?!” Or were you flattered and happy yet still wondering what the hell?

When I posted your Listworthy, I had butterflies fluttering inside before I hit publish. Would you read it? Would you respond? Would you disappear? Would you tell your friends? Would you laugh about it, get teased about it, curse me to the heavens for the attention? Or would you even notice?

I don’t know if you’ve read your Listworthy (although I believe some of your family and friends have). None of you have ever really responded (and I never expected it at all). None of you have really disappeared. I always hope that you took it in the spirit it was written– something real and true, in gratitude for the inspiration you’ve wrought in me and the generosity you’ve shown to me if we’ve ever interacted. I will always adore you, whether I show it these days or not. I think we know the one I’m currently publicly adoring but it doesn’t mean I don’t still adore the ones before him and that there won’t be more after him. I’ll never say someone is the last because another one always comes along.

Maybe you didn’t even know I wrote a Listworthy for you (my early ones were before some of you were on twitter or instagram, so no way to tag you). Maybe you’re reading this now and thinking, “What the hell is she talking about?” Maybe you’re looking for the link of your Listworthy (I’ll post those at the end of this). Maybe you’re just bored and reading this because why the hell not?

I’ve been very lucky to meet a couple of you (which made it a little weird to even write the Listworthy) and thankfully we are a bit like friends. I truly treasure all our moments together and I hope that you always remember me with fondness because I know I will always think of you thusly. As for the rest of you, I’d LOVE to meet you someday and I promise to be delighted and adoring. Let’s make it happen.

Thank you, my Listworthy, for bestowing some attention my way. They are truly bits of sunshine to me and I am always grateful for any of it. I’m sure you think I’m a little off kilter but I like to think I’m merely perpetually boycrazy, in that innocent and cute way. Mostly. Thank you for the inspiration! (A few of you have played parts in my stories and maybe someday I’ll actually publish them and you can fight about which one I was using in this story or that.) Thank you for your time when we’ve talked. Thank you for being ever so lovely with me whether in person or online. It goes a long way with me…

keep me in suspense
and keep me at a distance
so here I will wait
still in wonder
if the right words slip soft
and you realize
nothing you want
is real until we meet
do I dare hope
even as you keep me
silent in waiting wonder

If you’d like to read about your fellow Listworthy, here they are:


name twitter instagram
Jensen Ackles @jensenackles @jensenackles
William Gregory Lee @willgreglee
Ed Quinn @edwardquinn @edwardquinn
Taylor Kitsch  alas, no twitter  also no instagram
Philip Winchester @philipwinchestr @philipwinchester
Sullivan Stapleton @sullygram77
Sam Hunt @samhuntmusic @samhuntmusic
Tyler Rich @tylerrichmusic @tylerrich
Simon Kassianides @simonkass @simonkass


Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


Day 11 stats

I’ve slowed down a bit on the writing. I wanted to be further in my story by now. The word count is still ahead of pace and if I keep going, I should have the novel finished before the month’s end. It’s my goal! I also want to write more than the 50,000, which is a real possibility. Fingers crossed!

I am a few tweets away from my 50,000th tweet. Isn’t that nuts?! I already know what I’m going to post (it’ll be something about my Listworthy fellas). Now I just need to time it right. I don’t really want to tweet just to get to 50,000 but it’s making me a little anxious when I see that I have just six tweets before I can post that milestone.

ETA: After I post this, my next tweet will be my 50,000th! Crazy! I suppose I should just do it now…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


Glorious times, National Novel Writing Month is here! I’ve started writing and I’ve somehow written over 18,000 words in five days. How is that possible?! My characters are very talkative. Also, Simon Kassianides is very inspiring.

Sully on Blindspot
Sully on Blindspot

It is definitely different using a different actor to play my main male character but it must be working because I haven’t been able to stop writing my story. Fun times!

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


should I step into the light
take that breath
reveal the very heart of me
should I face those fears
banish the doubts
take that chance to shine
should I let go
chase that dream teasing me
just beyond my reach

Just a few more days and I will be writing my latest story for National Novel Writing Month. I’m excited! I’ve been writing a prequel and it’s going to probably not going to get a proper end when I start writing the actual story. It was really more an exercise to get into the heads of my characters. Hopefully I can write the actual story without thinking too much of the prequel.

Blindspot – Season three premiered on Friday! I love having Sully back on my tv and as much as I don’t care for the Jane/Weller love match, I realize that I have to accept it because that’s where they are. Maybe they can have the kind of relationship that weathers every storm? What a novelty!… My favorite part of the episode (besides seeing everyone again) was the too few parts with Weller and his baby. Sully looks so cute and natural with babies. I’ve always thought so. It’s one of those weird but wonderful things about him… I know that I probably wouldn’t watch the show if it weren’t for Sully but I’m happy enough with it to keep watching with devotion. I do enjoy the crazy plots and great character moments. I think if you sit down and give the show a chance, it’s an intriguing way to spend an hour.

Stranger Things 2 – We binge watched the second season. What can I say without mentioning spoilers? Hmmm. Well, I very much enjoyed it. I liked learning more about the characters. I liked the new characters. I liked the mystery and the darkness as well as the lighter moments and the laughter. Of course now I’m sad that I don’t have more episodes to watch. We even broke up our viewing into three sessions. If you watched the first season then of course you must watch the second season!

The Orville – We just watched the latest ep today. It was an interesting episode that entertained and frustrated on different levels. It was frustrating watching the characters act in a stupid fashion but it was also entertaining to watch. I do like the show. It’s not perfect but it’s in earnest and I like that…

The World Series is something we’re watching in passing. I’m cheering for the Astros… Do you ever just want to smack some sense into people? Yeah, don’t we all?… It makes me crazy that Star Trek Discovery can only be watched behind a paywall. To me it defies the inclusive spirit of the show. It’s already been renewed, which I suppose means it’s worth it for the network. Still, I think it’s a damn shame that people willing to watch commercials aren’t good enough to watch a Star Trek show… Hoping the weather starts to cool down because it’s a bummer to enjoy air conditioning in late October. What the heck?!

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.

Tags: ,
21 October 2017 @ 05:44 pm

has he been drifting
satisfied in solitude
denying his heart

Random musings

  • I am super anxious to start my National Novel Writing Month story. I don’t know if all this “pre-writing” is helping me. Well, maybe it is in that I’m getting a feel for the characters. It’s a nice test of which secondary characters I want to use for the main story. And it is good practice writing in the first person. I think this could be the first story I’ve ever written in the first person. It should be quite interesting come intimate moments time. (Because unlike last year, I am going to write the details of the intimate scenes. Last year I left most of it to the imagination.)
  • The weather finally turned a bit cooler toward the end of the week and I was able to wear my All Blacks scarf a couple of times this week. Glorious! Maybe it’ll soon be cold enough to finally wear my Love Your Melon beanies too. I’d really love that.
  • Speaking of my All Blacks, they lost today against the Wallabies. I’m a little disappointed but I know they’re still an awesome team and they cannot win them all. It’s a good for them to have strong competition. It was good to see the Wallabies play better. I love my All Blacks but I like seeing their usual rivals play well. (And I consider the Wallabies and the Springboks their strongest rivals.)
  • I’m still without my own PC at home. The hubby so kindly added a profile for me on his Mac mini so we’re sharing a desktop right now. It’s neat working on a Mac again but I still can’t play around with my music. I do love being entrenched in the whole Apple ecosystem. It pretty much rocks being able to text message from the Mac mini.
  • At work, I put in for a Varidesk. I’m seriously excited about it. It’ll be cool being able to stand and work on my computer. Fun times!… I’m part of the test group for our cloud based email. I love being able to try out the tech stuff. So far so good. And now I don’t have to worry about how much space my mail is taking.


  • A-ha – One of my friends posted an A-ha video on Facebook, which led to me buying their MTV Unplugged – Summer Solstice album. I love hearing unplugged versions of their songs! Morten Harket still has a beautiful voice.  “Take On Me” is simply haunting…
  • Jordan Davis – “Take It From Me” – Jordan released a new song on Friday. Well, new to you if you’ve never heard it before. Love this version of the song! Go find it at your favorite digital music retailer. It’s pretty awesome.
  • Carly Pearce – Every Little Thing – Carly’s new album is out. Go get it! I’ve spun the album a couple of times and I just love it. I know I like her because I saw her live and she just entranced me. Plus I love that she loves wine. The title track is amazing but I’m also loving “Hide the Wine,” “If My Name Was Whiskey,” and “Dare Ya.”
  • Russell Dickerson – Yours – I really dug his EP so I couldn’t pass on his album. I haven’t listened to all of it all the way through but I have a feeling I’m going to dig it. Right now I’m listening to “You Look Like a Love Song” and it’s definitely a toe tapper.
  • Lacy Cavalier – “Every Time It Rains” – This girl is a power vocalist and a great songwriter. Seriously loving this song. She never disappoints.


  • You know that Xfinity commercial where the mother goes on a Girls Night Out and leaves her children at home WITH THEIR FATHER/HER HUSBAND? That commercial annoys the F**K out of me because 1) she’s leaving her kids with their father/her husband yet 2) she feels the need to spy on them on her phone, WTF is up with that? Does she not trust her husband, the father of her children? Is he SO incompetent that he doesn’t know how to take care of his own children?! I wouldn’t have batted an eye if she was leaving her kids with a babysitter but it’s pretty obvious to me that she’s leaving them with their father. I find it fairly insulting and every time I see it, I just want to throw something. Because let’s be super honest here, if that commercial had the roles reversed (father going out and mother staying in) and the father did the same thing, people would be in an uproar.
  • Sully on BlindspotBlindspot is back on Friday, October 27th! I need my Sully fix!!! Plus I do enjoy the show. It’s one of the only shows I watch in real time and it is all because of Sullivan Stapleton. I know, I’ve said that before but I will keep saying it. He is the reason that I watch the show and he’s the reason I watch it in real time. He’s making it easy for me to be a good fangirl for him. He’d better appreciate it. I’m going to believe he does.
  • Simon
    I’m wondering what gig would have Simon sporting that side ink there. Hmmm. I hope he says what is is sometime soon because I want to keep an eye out! Also yes, he’s still on my list. (Was there any doubt?)

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.

15 October 2017 @ 08:27 pm

maybe you know why
each dream seeps with restless themes
reaching for your heart

Fall Break is over! The kids out here go back to school tomorrow after two weeks of vacation. I took two long weekends, which was great! Last weekend was for the MIL’s memorial; this weekend was for fun. I mostly didn’t want to work on Friday the 13th. Silly, I know.

It has been hard watching the news about the fires here in California. I cannot even imagine what all those people are experiencing right now. I have friends who live in those areas and they’re all right, thank goodness. Still, it’s gut wrenching to know people have lost their homes or livelihoods or even their lives. The rain cannot come soon enough…


Sully on Blindspot
maybe he’s dreaming of me using him in my next story… sorry Sully!

Sully is not in my upcoming National Novel Writing Month story in that he’s not playing anyone in it as far as I know. This is a first! But then I watch something like previews of the new season of Blindspot and lo, feeling the Sullivan Stapleton love again. Now I feel like I should make room for him but the characters I’ve so far envisioned don’t really match his look or vibe. Hmmm…

I know I have a few weeks before NaNoWriMo but I am anxious to start. I keep writing the prequel so as to get into the heads of my main characters but I really just want to start on the “real” story. I can’t even have anyone read the prequel because there are a couple of spoilers in it, if that makes sense…

I love when I have nap dreams. I had one the other day that was so detailed but I don’t remember much of it now except that I was hanging out with Aleks Paunovic. He was awesome in it though he did scold me a little about not paying as much attention to the fan twitter account as I should. I felt bad but he was cool with it. I also feel like Simon Kassianides was in the dream but I don’t remember what part he played. Oh, and Sam Hunt was in my dream performing an acoustic show! It was really a good dream…


We’ve actually been watching some of the new shows this season which goes against what we always tell ourselves, which is to watch shows once they’ve had at least one season.

Inhumans – I’m enjoying this show more than I thought I would. Maybe it’s because it’s located on Hawaii and the Moon (a place I love and a place of my dreams). Maybe it’s because it’s intriguing and on the sci-fi side. Whatever it is, I like the pace of the storylines and I like the characters. I like the diversity (how can it not be diverse when they’re in Hawaii?!). I also like the HUGE dog Lockjaw. He could be my favorite so far. Ha!

The Gifted – This show is a bit too serious for my taste but I’m hooked enough to not say no when the hubby wants to watch it. I think the hunt for the mutants is a bit over the top. Have we just not be given enough backstory? It just seems a bit horrible that whenever the mutants do just one thing, the automatic response is to arrest and imprison them without trying to understand them. What kind of world is this show? But perhaps the discomfort is meant to part of the experience…

The Orville – I am very much enjoying this show! It’s funny and sci-fi and serious and flawed. I love the mix of everything and I like feeling as though it’s also a familiar kind of sci-fi. I worried at little bit that Seth MacFarlane might not take is seriously enough and fill the show with bad jokes and toilet humor but instead a lot of the show is oddly in earnest and optimistic. It’s like a cross between Galaxy Quest and Star Trek.


During Oktober Fest in Brentwood
Alas, we didn’t win the raffle…

Yesterday was Oktober Fest in downtown Brentwood. We walked and enjoyed some beer, brats, and little dachshunds walking the streets. Too cute! The fest seemed to have a good turn-out, which was great to see. We ended our night at the bars then walked home. It’s nice being so close to downtown…

When I wasn’t on social media last Friday (because of the memorial), I realized later that I felt the better for it. I think this means I need to cull my Twitter and definitely pay less attention to Facebook. Even though my twitter feed isn’t too political, the current political climate has inspired many of the people I follow to post things of a political or socially conscious nature. It’s interesting but I feel sometimes that I’m getting an overload of information and outrage. It might be time to cull my social media or give myself breaks from it…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.

09 October 2017 @ 01:06 am

does he dream of her
the way she whispers his name
her smile just for him

Henry Cavill in Justice League

The new trailer is out for Justice League and FINALLY they’re showing Henry Cavill. It’s only a small bit but it’s enough to squeeze your heart. Plus goodness me, how handsome is he? ::swoons:: I’m excited to see the movie and I will definitely see it opening weekend. It shall happen.

NaNoWriMo prep – I “announced” my novel at the National Novel Writing Month website and for now the title of the novel shall be Falling Into Place. I’m glad I’m doing the prequel story because some of the secondary characters need a little work, especially the main female’s close friends. The male character might need more secondary characters to surround him. So far, he’s sounding a little jerky and conceited but no worries, he’ll get to the point where he’s a little insecure. Maybe. The female character is a bit more developed but I want to keep some details about her from the reader as she keeps the details from the male character. We shall see how this goes…

It’s Fall Break in these parts for the school kids and I’m taking advantage by taking some days off here and there. I’m in the middle of my long weekend— off Friday and Monday— but it’s for bereavement leave for the MIL.


FRIDAY – We had the memorial service in Castro Valley for the MIL then a small reception at our friends’ house in Livermore. It was lovely to see everyone who made it out. Coincidentally, it was also the sixth anniversary of the FIL’s death. So perhaps a little full circle? It was a nice day, weather-wise. Just a little warm but it cooled down as the day turned to evening.

The condolences that came our way (online and such) were very kind. Part of me was and still isn’t sure how to respond so all I can say is Thank You. Thank you to everyone who passed along their thoughts and prayers and condolences. It’s nice to know that our family and friends are thinking of us even if they didn’t know the MIL.

The pastor read the eulogy that the SIL wrote. None of us spoke. I don’t know what I would have said if I had been called to speak. Watching the photos of the MIL throughout her life was interesting and I wondered what her family and friends would have said about her if given the chance. Do they have wistful memories? Do they have great stories that we might not ever know? Will they remember her with fondness? Will she be missed?

When I first met her, I was a bit put-off by her brashness. She was outspoken and off the top, not caring how her words might have been taken. She was generous perhaps to a fault. She was unforgiving at turns and thrived on drama at times. She loved her children but did not have an easy relationship with either of them. She loved her grandchild. She loved her husband. She had loyal friends throughout her life but by the end, they had faded into memory. She loved to entertain and I will remember the holiday parties as good times.

It was difficult to see her at the end. Her illness had ravaged her and by the last time we saw her, she saw nor heard any of us, I think. She was already almost gone. Did she find peace in the end? I hope she did not suffer. I hope that as her body struggled for each breath, her mind was elsewhere, somewhere happy and comforting. I hope that those who went before her were there to meet her, to welcome her. I hope she never looked back after her last breath…


Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.

03 October 2017 @ 06:59 pm

The massacre in Las Vegas at the end of the Route 91 Harvest music festival fills me anger and sorrow, rage and despair. I went to bed on Sunday night knowing something had happened and woke up on Monday morning to utter heartbreak and death.

As far as I know, my country music loving concert friends are all safe and sound, as well as family and friends who live in the area. Even though I have no direct personal stake in the devastation, it still numbs me. I have had friends go to that music festival. I have gone to such music festivals. Those people share the same love for country music that I have. They sang along, they drank their beer, they enjoyed the music together. All they wanted was to share the joy and magic of music, to savor the moment of singing the same songs with family, friends, and strangers. Except they weren’t really strangers, were they? They were all there for the same thing and that made them family in the heart.

The thought that someone took away their joy, their hearts, their LIVES just makes me cry. These people are MY people. Their joys were my joys. Their hearts, my heart. Their lives, my life. Before the hard, cruel shots that rang, they were living my dream that night. Before the pain and the blood and the tears, they were one with the music. Before the loss, the death, the desperation– they were innocent, one of the last ways an adult can be innocent. Music strips away the darkness, takes the soul to another place, reminds us of moments even as it creates new ones.

How dare someone rip through the night and take those lives, fill those people, OUR people with panic and confusion and fear. And then that cowardly terrorist took his own life in the end? If there is a hell, I hope he’s burning in it over and over and over…

My first thought was– is anyone I know there?! I checked my social media, my snapchats, my instagram stories. No, no one I knew personally had been there. They were all safe. My next thought– did I know anyone who knew anyone who was there? This question is one I still don’t know today. The lost souls have not yet all been named but I have read some of the stories about them and they’ve crushed me so much. The losses are painful but the stories of people helping others fill me with hope too. I cling to that hope.

Reading the reactions on social media has been interesting in some regards. Many have taken to the #PrayforLasVegas hashtag along with words if they could muster it. As I am not the praying type, I posted an informational image to my Instagram and twitter. I wanted to feel as though I was doing something even if it was just passing along information.

One thing that put a bee in my bonnet (yes, I used that phrase on twitter because sometimes I’m just old like that) is a post I happened to read Sunday night. Information was scarce and inaccurate but one “artist” posted something that puzzled me. I wish I had screenshot it but it was somewhere along the lines of “I’m tire of being polite. We need to do something about this now.” He had been in the service before his singing career and made the assumption that the terrorist was foreign born. He didn’t exactly say it in so many words but he insinuated it with his tone. In the morning, after going through some of the news, I saw another post from him that called for prayers. Curious, I checked out his profile and saw that he had deleted his other post. Part of me wondered if I had dreamed it but then I went to his twitter and saw that though he had deleted a post, he had left the replies to a person who had replied to original post that confirmed what I had remembered– he had jumped to inaccurate conclusions then backtracked to the whole “we need to come together, prayers for the victims” line when the terrorist was identified as a white American male. It was so blatant and would have probably gone unnoticed. But I noticed and it rankled me. It still rankles me. People have privately asked me who the “artist” is and I have named him. I won’t name him here. I only want to say this– before you get all up in arms during a tragedy, unless you’re IN IT, wait until the facts come your way. Don’t assume anything. Don’t believe everything you might hear or read. Too many of the news outlets out there are selling ad time and they’ll throw up theories and conjectures left and right. If you have any kind of influence (ya know, the blue check mark), it’s probably best and responsible to just be sure you have all the facts before you post inflammatory words that do NOTHING but feed the fire of panic and fear. Don’t be part of the problem…

I’ve since unfollowed that particular “artist”. I now know the soul of him and it does not sit well with me. I follow enough real, genuine souls out there in the country music world so even if he wrote a song with one of my favorites, it doesn’t mean he’s worth my time. But hey, he makes a good story about the hypocrisy of some people, eh?

My love to all of you. My tears and hope to the ones who endured Sunday night. If I prayed, I would pray. My heart to yours. Let’s spread love and joy and hope by living, laughing, and loving…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


let me feel you close
your soft breath warm on my skin
your touch such a thrill

Happy October! It doesn’t feel like autumn quite yet but the temperatures have cooled ever so slightly, thank goodness. Fall Break has begun for the schoolchildren out here, which means the student parking lot across the street will be mostly empty. Joy!

I’ve been imagining a short scene in my head and the person I imagined for this scene posted an image of himself in the same lighting I was imagining. I think this means I need to write the scene before I forget it.

Sully in Strike Back
I miss Strike Back sometimes…

I’m getting myself revved up to write in the first person for NaNoWriMo by writing a “pre-story” using the characters. I’ve almost decided on names for the characters. I’m hoping the prequel to the main story will help me find the voices of the character. It will be interesting writing from a male perspective…

Simon on Unforgettable

The service for my mother-in-law will be on Friday, October 6, which is the sixth anniversary of my father-in-law’s death. It was just a coincidence but I think it’s a nice coincidence. I posted about it on my Facebook and people have been very kind with their condolences… I made an online album of photos that I have of the MIL. I didn’t really have any of her after the FIL died…

I’m glad Fall Break has started. I’m taking a couple of days off each week. It’ll be nice… 🙂

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


I grew up believing the ideals of this country– that we are created equal and are afforded rights equally. It is so ingrained in me that even at my age, I do still believe it. I live it. But that doesn’t meant that I do not see the inequality that continues to thrive in our society because I do. And ever since the White House changed hands, the disparity of ideals has shown with alarming and disappointing consistency.

Suddenly people think that they can say horrible things and when called on it, say that they’re tired of being told to be “PC.” Since when does being a thoughtful and compassionate human being been such a bad thing? Why is it so wrong for people to believe in equality? Why shouldn’t someone doing their job expect to be compensated without regard to their race or gender? And if someone does their job, why should they be “grateful” for earning their way and being compensated for it? Also, aren’t we allowed to peaceably protest the injustice that exists in this world?

I bought into the ideals of this country and I have gone through most of my life not being openly judged as a woman or a person of color. No one has blamed me for their own misfortune. Maybe I’ve been lucky. Maybe people look at me as an Asian woman and shrug because they think I’m harmless and I know “my place.” Maybe being married to my husband gives me a pass. Or maybe I’ve been lucky enough to be around people who believe the same as I do– we are equal.

Having worked with law enforcement, I am sensitive to blanket criticism of the men and women who risk their lives daily to protect citizens. But having worked with law enforcement also means I have known men and women who were quick to resort to the “us vs. them” mentality. I fell into that mentality too. I know that most of the men and women of law enforcement are good people who believe in helping and protecting all of us just as I know there are a very very few who take the little power they have and wield like total degenerates.

The state of our world has become divisive and restless. Instead of trying to unify all of us, the current White House resident seems hellbent on ripping everything apart. And people are falling for it because perhaps we all just love being in conflict. But this kind of conflict, pitting Americans against fellow Americans, will end up destroying us. Anyone with any capacity to see the big picture can see this.

I will go on with my life believing in the ideals of this country even though there are people in this country who don’t believe I should have the same rights whether because of my gender or race or even age. I will live my life with a positive eye, looking for beauty and joy. I will acknowledge the dissonance and injustice but I will not let it sour my spirit. I will do my part to spread joy and not let the negative attitudes dissuade me. I will strive to remember it’s not “us vs. them” but rather just US. We all deserve good lives that include education, health, jobs, and freedom…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.


daydreams that wander
maybe leading to something
more than wistful sighs

I’ve begun the prep work on my next National Novel Writing Month story. I know, it’s a little early, but I like to pretend to be prepared. I also like having a notebook on hand and writing when something comes to me. I’m trying to outline the plot a little as well as write in the voice of the characters. I think I’ve decided to go with the whole first person perspective, which will be a challenge but one I want to attempt. Wish me luck?

I think the interesting thing will be when I get to the steamy scenes. Those scenes are already challenging for me to write in general but to do it in the first person? And from the male perspective as well as the female? Ye gods! I hope to have enough plot points to take it to 55K to 60K words. I always want to write more than the 50K…

Originally published at Kiari's Corner. You can comment here or there.